Desires

I'm feeling such a huge shift happening in my body. I'm starting to truly realize that God/the universe has my back. That no matter what I do I am still loved. Sounds crazy right? But what if you cheat? What if you kill? What if you rape? I am not saying these actions don't break my heart or others hearts. I'm not saying that pain isn't terrible to experience. But there's a bigger picture here. And I'm still not necessarily "okay" with it. But I'm accepting it while also still believing in the good of the universe. Remembering that everything truly will be okay. That all I can do is try to be as connected to my heart as I can be. To give people, second, third or how ever many chances I feel like giving. I am an adult, and I'm in charge of my path. No one gets to tell me what it should look like but me. And if I get hurt it's okay. Because every time I've gotten hurt it only brought me closer to my truth and to God. But that doesn't mean I will go out looking for destruction. I don't need to stir up unnecessary drama to feel alive. But I also won't avoid the fire; I'll just go slowly. I'll dip my toes in over and over until it feels right. I am done with forcing things. With having an agenda. I want to awaken to my blind spots, and truly come into relationship with reality. Wish me luck, because I think I'm in love.