A Shift

Something happened today. It's hard to explain. I slipped into old patterning, where I blame the external for my unhappiness. And I expressed it, but then something shifted. I decided I wasn't going to fall into my old pattern again. I stepped back and saw the big picture. That I'm truly just playing a role in this whole collective game. And I don't want to get stuck in being "right". But truly, because most people get so stuck in their personal perspective. I just want to allow people to be themselves, and find my way to freedom. And have faith I'll always be right where I belong. I then found an amazing meditation online. I'd share it but honestly I'm embarrassed about it, because I guess it's out there in a romantic kind of way. And I listened to two of these meditations, and they changed me. I'll be doing them every day honestly. It brought me a kind of peace I haven't felt in a long, long time. I feel a kind of wholeness, where my inner patriarch partnered with my inner matriarch. An eternal union within myself finally "clicked". I know I may wake up tomorrow feeling shitty, but I feel like something big happened tonight. I'll keep going through the darkness, if it means getting to experience more and more of my wholeness each time. Man, the healing path is so hard, but I promise it's worth it. And this is from someone who earlier today wanted to quit it all.