Today I can clearly hear the crows calling my name. I've been seeing them a lot since I moved to my new apartment. I looked up what they mean, and one site said entering the dark mystery. I'll tell you, doing this healing work has been super hard on me lately. The demons that I'm facing are dark and ugly. They are fucking angry. And it's hard to claim this rage. It was always easier for me to fall into depression then to hold onto this red sticky thick anger. It's so heavy on me. And it's an ancient rage. It's sick, it's pure disconnected evil. Because what it is evil anyway? It's being furthest from the light, it's physical manifestation or "Malkut" on the tree of life. It brings me to the story of Adam and Eve, or as I like to say Eve and Adam. I was not raised on the bible, but I do believe these stories have great symbology in them. Eve and Adam were in heaven with the animals. There is no veil there, no illusion of separation. But it was decided they needed more of a challenge. They needed more "life", which is why Eve bit into the apple. The original carving out that occured for life to take place. There's a sadness there. That to create something, something must be taken away. That to have life there must be loss. In my eyes sin is the contraction "God" made in order for life to exist. It's the crack that allows the light to come in. But because of these cracks we are all imperfect. We have innate sin just to exist here. But Jesus (who in my eyes is an ascended master) died for our sins. What does that mean? That means he came down with (and died for) the message that it is okay to be human, that we are already forgiven. It is okay to have these desires that we carry such shame over. We are animals with consciousness. We were made to be flawed. It's a healing universe and without these flaws, these imperfections, we couldn't evolve and grow. Love is the fabric of the universe, and love is in everything. So even the things we perceive to be so evil are still capable of being healed. But we we first need to start accepting all of these places within ourselves. The murderer, the lazy one, the sexual one, the abuser, the abused, etc. We are all multifaceted gems walking this Earth plane. Life itself includes destruction. But it's not about becoming killing machines. It's about acceptance of our truest nature. Knowing we are all collectively sick and imperfect. Let's find ways to express these desires in productive ways rather than hurting each other unnecessary. Let's start to get honest with each other. Let's dance, let's make love, let's create art, let's scream, let's wail. It's time to be who we are meant to be. After all, you can't stop fate.